Logic
by dragonprincess1988
Summary: Dick uses his bat logic on Roy.


Roy held the phone to his ear with his shoulder as he was moving papers around his desk. "Ugh, I need to fill this out, and I can't find my pen."

"So, use a different pen." Dick tried to keep his voice flat, but the annoyance was seeping through all the same. They were going to be late, and he had been out in front in his car waiting for Roy for what seemed like forever. Dick could still hear papers being moved around.

"I can't."

"Why not?" His frustration with Roy was evident.

"This is important, and that's my favorite pen. I'm not filling this out with any other pen." Roy thought it should be obvious why he needed his favorite pen, but then some people just didn't understand.

Dick threw the hand that wasn't holding the phone into the air. "Ugh, you've GOT to be kidding me."

Roy really couldn't understand why Dick didn't get it. "Why? Because I want my pen?"

Dick was trying to keep his breathing and his tone under control as he clenched his hand into a fist at his side. "Because you are wasting your time and mine. I know you have plenty of pens. Why does it have to be that pen?"

Roy shrugged as he kept searching even though he knew Dick wouldn't see it. "Well, it's my favorite. There's nothing wrong with that."

Dick put his hand to his head, and began to rub his temples. "Fine. On the floor…to your right…by the back leg of your chair, how about that?"

Roy raised an eyebrow as he slowly turned in the direction Dick had told him to look. "Dude, I swear if you have surveillance in my room, I will hunt you down…and…well…you fill in the blank."

"Your pen was there, I take it." Dick's voice was back to being even.

"Yes, my pen was there, bird brain. Now, tell me! Where are the cameras?" Roy was looking in all the usual places.

Dick almost laughed. "Roy, I don't have surveillance in your house, especially not in your room. I don't even want to think about what would be on those tapes if I did. There isn't enough brain bleach in the world to take care of that."

Now Roy was intrigued. "Brain bleach?"

Dick rolled his eyes. "Don't ask. Bruce makes us use that."

Roy just stared straight ahead at a wall for a moment. "I don't even know what to say to that."

Dick smiled for a moment. Roy really wasn't the brightest guy on the face of the planet. "Roy, I'm kidding."

"Uh huh."

"Well, I'm mostly kidding."

"Uh huh."

"Okay, I'm sorta kidding."

"Uh huh."

Dick hung his head "Okay, okay, so I can't talk about it, and I'm telling you, I'm kidding."

Roy smirked. "Ding, ding, ding. I think we have a winner."

Dick leaned back against his car again. "Yeah, yeah, are you done yet?"

Roy finished filling out the paper. "Yeah, I can be."

Dick pushed away from the car and looked heavenward. "Oh come on, I want to get going already. Whoever came up with the name Speedy for you was a very cruel man who liked sarcasm."

Roy grabbed a shirt off his bed as he was making sure he had everything else he needed. "Hey, I haven't been called Speedy in a long time, and you are going to pay for that comment, Short Pants."

Dick was smiling evilly as he waited for Roy. "There's a reason you haven't been called Speedy in a long time, and I'm willing to say or do whatever motivates you enough to get your butt down here."

After a few moments of silence, Dick spoke again. "Hey, you ready yet? I think my dead grandmother gets dressed faster than you."

Roy grunted. "Yeah, give me a moment. I'm putting my shoes on." Roy thought for a moment before asking what had been on his mind. "How did you know my pen was on the floor to the right of me by the back leg of my chair?"

Dick shook his head. "I used logic."

Roy held the phone to his head with his shoulder again as he tied his shoes. "Oh, logic huh? What kind of logic would that be?"

Dick shook his head again. He was pretty sure that it was pretty obvious. "Well, you are right handed, so if you would had put the pen down after writing and it rolled off of the desk, it would have been to the right. Plus, knowing you as well as I do, I know you left your chair out and the back leg would have stopped the pen from rolling any farther away from the desk."

Roy was ready to hit Dick from his tone. "Okay, Mr-Know-It-All, how come I sometimes find them to the left of me?"

Dick sighed as he rolled his eyes. This was really not important. "You tend to put things in your mouth when you are typing. Then you go to take them out of your mouth with your left hand so you can press the enter button with your right hand. Why am I explaining this? Really, how is this helping me get you down here quicker? I think I may die from boredom."

Dick felt someone tap him on his shoulder, and looked to see who it was. "I'm here, I'm here. We can go now."

Dick smiled as he opened the car door. "It's about time. Do you have any idea how many chicks I know that get dressed faster than you?"

Roy punched him in the arm lightly. "Would you just shut up and drive?" The two of them got in the car, and left.

The End


End file.
